The Difference Ten Years Can Make
by JollyFray
Summary: It has been 10 years since Bella has been changed. Now she lives, Edwardless, in the subway tunnels of New York, hiding from three very dangerous men who wan't to control her. Don't worry, Edward will show up eventually! On hold for the moment. Sorry!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Me no own.**

**BPOV**

My senior year of high school had passed in a blur of zombie-like trances and motorcycle crashes . I stood in a sea of maroon, seemingly invisible. It was graduation and the one person that I wanted to be here most I would never see again.

I could see Charlie, trying his best to hide his joyful tears. Next to him sat Billy and his son Jacob, my best friend and the only person in the world I would let see me cry. He was the one who sewed my chest back together after Edward tore my heart out. Figuratively, of course. Now I was graduating and would be heading off to college soon. I was not looking forward to leaving what I had come to think of as my new family. I was going to miss Jacob terribly. Of that I was sure.

But after what happened, I couldn't be sure of anything. I'm not talking about what happened after my birthday, I am talking about graduation, and the painful and heart-breaking events that followed.

Looking back, I know I should have seen it coming. It was so obvious. We were driving over to La Push for my party and we saw a horrible crash on the side of the rode. A car had been twisted and mangled, wrapped around an oak that was at least a century old. I didn't even notice the flaming red hair of the driver and the multitude of burgundy eyes peering through the underbrush of the forest. As soon as Charlie stopped the car, Jake and me were out of it, running toward the accident. I remember Charlie calling it in over the radio on the dash, and I remember when Jacob suddenly grabbed my arm and started pulling me back to the car. Later I knew it was because of the smell. The rest was a blur. Jacob dying, trying to protect me from the gang of newborns Victoria had with her. The deaths of Billy and Charlie. And then mine. A slow and agonizing death it had been. Vampire venom raced through my veins for three unbearably long days. Then my heart stopped, and it was over. That is, my old life was over. I awoke in the forest, all alone. I could smell recently spilled blood and knew I was close to the place I were I was changed. Once I woke up, my new life began.

As a vampire, I was stronger, faster, and a hell of a lot more durable. I could see, hear, and smell better. At first, it had been overwhelming. The new smells, sounds, and sights. I understood the Cullen's struggle to become and stay vegetarians much better. The first day was the hardest, smelling humans so close. If I had lost it, there wouldn't be any more Forks, and probably no more me. The rest of the werewolves would have been forced to kill me. No matter how attached they had become to me over the past year.

Over the next few weeks, I stayed in the woods, feeding off of the animals there, in order to refrain from feasting on the humans that used to be my friends. Now they were nothing more than tempting morsels of food. It only took me a year to be able to walk among them without fear that I would loose control. But as soon as I did, I realized my mistake. For years after my first and last walk through Forks as a vampire, the town was known as a ghost town, and they even had pictures of me to prove it.

After that I left, and I knew that I would never return.

I wanted to be as far away as possible while still staying in the country, seeing as I only knew one language and I had no money. So I ran east. I ran all night and found shelter from humans and the sun during the day. On the rare occasion that the sun didn't come out, I hunted. This was my routine for weeks, until I finally reached my destination.

The smog and air pollution was enough to block out the sun almost every day in this city. Even though the population of this state was among the top five in the nation, it was the best place for me. Book stores stood on every corner, and I soon found out, that so did vampires. You heard me right. Everywhere I turned I saw a vampire, each with red eyes. And every time they saw me, they got the most hilarious look on their faces. Obviously, they hadn't seen many veggies like me. I have to say that the worst part was the food vendors. About five were on each street block, and they all smelled atrocious. But other than that, New York City was my new Forks, and would be for years to come.

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**I think that I'm really going to enjoy writing this story, but don't worry, I haven't forgotten my other ones. Review and tell me what you think!**


	2. News of Disaster

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Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse.

I'm listening to all sorts of slow, (some sad) songs such as Hero, Chasing Cars, Bleeding Love, When I'm Gone, Sorry, No One, Fall, Angry All the Time... The list goes on. I know, it takes me forever to write a chapter. But I decided I wanted to write for this story today, so i'm sitting down and I will not quit until I have posted this chapter.

I'm so wierd...I wrote the last paragraph first...

BTW, this is just cuz i'm bored. This story is still on hold, and depending on how well the big "MOVE" goes, so is Bella's Side. Not for long, I PROMISE!!

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It had been two years. Two endless years since I left her. The most beautiful woman who had ever walked the planet, and I left her to walk alone. The most danger prone person in the world, and I left her alone, unprotected in this horrible, disgusting place. I left an angel all alone in hell. I was the lowest of the low, even to my own eyes.

After I left Forks, I spent months running around the world, hunting what couldn't be found. At first I just told myself that I was tracking. I told myself I was trying to find Laurent and Victoria, just in case one of them got an idea for revenge. But after months of chasing, I realized too late that I was running. Running from my inability to take care of her properly, and my lack of humanity. I wasn't human enough for her, and I didn't want to face that fact.

For these past few years I had mourned pitifully, and had lost all sense of pride. At first, I skulked around the house, and hid from my family, not wanting to be reminded of her. But soon I saw the effects I had on them, and I left again.

So I sat in a second-story hotel room and stared out onto the faded, gravel parking lot. I watched the brown weeds shooting up between the cracks, and the wrens darting from plastic shrub to plastic shrub. I read, and reread everything written on the graffiti infested wall of the motel across the lot. The whole scene painted a dreary picture, and that suited me perfectly.

I could hear a mugging taking place just around the corner, but couldn't muster up any will to go and help the teenage couple. I knew this wasn't me. I could never be me again, though. The person that I was disappeared the day I turned away from Bella in the forest and ran, and kept going even as she came after me with no hope of catching up. I was truly heartless.

I sat at the window until the suns rays penetrated and stabbed at the gloomy sky, then I retreated into an even gloomier room. A squeaky twin bed, a bedside table with no lamp, an antique desk with a broken leg, peeling wallpaper, a stained carpet and worn rug, and no lights because a recent storm had cut off all of the electricity. This is what I had reduced myself to, and I still felt like I was lower than scum. Nothing I put myself through would make up for my treatment of Bella. No matter how harsh or disturbing.

Pure, white snow began to fall outside. I knew from the slight change in the atmosphere. And even if that hadn't tipped me off, this was northern Russia. It always snows here. I sat in the straight-backed, rickety chair in front of the desk and opened my laptop, probably the most modern piece of technology on this side of Ukraine.

I flipped it open, uncaring if I damaged it. I could always buy a new one. I checked my e-mail first. Alice was always sending me messages. No one else did because they didn't have my address, and Alice kept it that way for me. Otherwise I would have hundreds of messages a day telling me to come home. This way I could stay in touch with my family without having to deal with them.

Not surprisingly, I had a new e-mail from Alice. She always sent me at least one full-length letter a day, and sometimes something to keep me occupied during the day.

_Dear Edward,_

_In case you were wondering, everything is going HORRIBLE here since you left, but we're surviving. Barely. The whole family misses you, not excluding Rose. That's how bad it is here. Come home, Edward. It's not the same without you here. Our family's an even number of people now, and you know how we handle even numbers. I'm not ordering you. Just...please. Your breaking our hearts acting this way. We love you, and no matter how far you go to get away from us, that won't change. _

_Anyways, Emmett says hi, and he hopes you come home soon. He's totally lost his edge in wrestling without you to cheer him on, and Jasper is getting WAY too confident in himself if you know what I mean. WINK! WINK! _

_Esme and Carlisle send their love and want to know if they should put your things in storage. (I think they asked me to ask you that so you would feel bad, they wouldn't really do that.)_

_Rose is...well...Rose. But she misses you too. I can tell._

_I miss you big brother. _

_Love, your sister, Alice._

I sighed heavily. Now even Alice was begging me to come back. It had been nice to just talk to her without being pressured. Oh, well. Next I checked Angela's myspace. She always had something new to say about Bella that tortured me, but I couldn't help myself. I needed just this one thing to keep me from going insane.

"Well that's weird," I said to myself when the screen popped up. Angela hadn't updated in two weeks. She never waited that long. Never. Something was up. I tried Jessica's, but she hadn't been on her myspace either. I even tried Mike's. Nothing. I was starting to get nervous. What was keeping everyone away from their myspace. This was Forks we were talking about. The most boring town in history. The Internet was the only fun thing for them to do.

Reluctantly, afraid of what I would see, I found the Forks newspaper online and started scanning the most recent issues. And there it was. The headline that would change my life forever. **Car Crash Kills Chief of Police, Family, and Friends.**

I sat and stared at the screen. Unable to move. I couldn't blink, or even breath. I read the article under the bold caption.

_On Saturday, 17th of May, all of Forks mourn for the loss of our Chief of Police, Charlie Swan, his daughter, Bella Swan, and friend of the family Billy Black, and his son Jacob Black. Just minutes after Bella Swan's graduation from Forks High School, the engine in the Chief's cruiser, which the foursome were traveling in, caught on fire and exploded, resulting in immediate death to all passengers in the car._

_The police report states that combustion was sudden, and unstoppable. None of the four were said to be in any pain during, or after, the explosion. Remains of three of the victims were found in or near the car, but the remains of Bella Swan have yet to be located. It is believed that her body was thrown some distance from the car and will be located soon._

I couldn't read any further, the fact that her body hadn't been found was enough for me to latch on to. All I could do was hope and pray to a God I hadn't believed existed until her, that she was alive and well. I had no idea how that could be possible, but it had to be.

I searched in my small suitcase and dug out my cell phone. As soon as I turned it on I got a message that I said I had received 278 voice mails. I quickly exited out of the pop-up and dialed Carlisle's number. He picked up half-way between the first ring.

"We know, Edward," he said quickly, before I could speak. "Alice saw you reading it."

"Carlisle, I have to make sure." My voice shook fiercely.

I heard Carlisle sigh. "I understand. But we're going with y-"

"No. I have to do this myself."

"It's too late, Edward," I heard Alice say into the phone. "We're on our way right now."

"I said no." I closed the phone so they couldn't argue with me any more.

I quickly packed up my things and flew out of the tiny room, and down to the check-out counter. "I'm checking out." I spoke in Russian to the man behind the plexi-glass.

"You must pay a fine to check out early." Incredibly, the mans face was passive, even though I knew from his thoughts he was flat-out lying. I didn't care, I had the money he wanted.

"Here," I said as I threw the bills on the counter. "Pay off your debts and buy your daughter a birthday present."

I whirled around and crashed through the door and ran full speed to the nearest airport. Everything was a blur until I came to the ticket booth.

"I'm sorry," the young lady said gleefully, "but all flights have been delayed due to severe weather."

"I'll risk it."

"I'm sorry, sir, but you can't have a plane all to yourself." She laughed as if I was joking with her.

"If I pay you enough I can get a plane though right?"

She giggled again.

"I'm not joking miss." I was on the verge of a mental break-down and she wasn't helping me at all.

"Well then in that case," She leaned against the counter on her elbows, "if you give me the right amount of money, I can get you anything you want." She fluttered her eyelashes, and I snapped.

"Look, dammit! You get me a plane! I'll pay you whatever the asking price is! Just get me a fucking plane!"

Everyone stopped and stared. The receptionist stared at me, wide-eyed. "O-okay," she stuttered. She disappeared behind a door, and soon came out followed by a tall, guant man.

"You are the man in desperate need of a plane?" he asked snottily.

"Yes sir. Name the price and I will gladly be on my way and out of your hair."

He grinned. "Three thousand dollars." He giggled, much like the receptionist.

"Deal. Where's the plane?" I could tell he was shocked by my answer.

"Uhhh... Hold on one moment please, sir?" He hurried back into the door he had come out of. He soon came hurrying back, followed by a much taller man in an immaculate suit.

"You are willing to pay this outrageous fee for a completely dangerous flight. Why?" He spoke in heavily accented English.

"The woman I love, my Bella, I have just heard the news that she was killed in a car accident. I- I must go to her. Please. Please, you have to understand-" I broke off. It felt as if my throat was closing up.

"Of course, sir," he answered, understandingly. "You will get your plane as soon as we can provide it, and for a much lesser fee."

"I don't mind paying for the inconvenience. Money matters very little to me."

He nodded, but when I attempted to pay him the full asking price, he refused to take it.

Soon I was on a small jet, shooting across the cloudy sky. I sat uncomfortably in the vinyl seat and nervously awaited my arrival.

Luckily, Seattle was overcast as well, and soon I was maneuvering myself quickly through the streets in a rented v8 mustang, the fastest car I could find in the lot. I shot through every red light and stop sign until I was passing the 'Welcome To Forks, Washington,' sign, and even then I didn't slow down until I reached the police station.

I jumped out of the car, with the engine still running and the door wide open. Seconds later I slammed through the double glass doors, and heard an ominous crack as the glass broke. I surged on toward the front desk where one of Charlie's deputy's stared at me with a shocked look on his face. The shock immediately melted into anger once he recognized me.

"You!" His voice shook with rage. "You must have some balls to show your face in here, boy!"

"Officer, I know you must hate me, and I don't blame you one bit. I just need to know...if-"

"She's dead. They found her body three days ago. Or what was left of it."

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" I shouted. "I read the paper! It said she hadn't been found yet!" If tears were possible for a vampire, the Rio Grande wouldn't even compare to the river I would cry.

"You haven't been gone that long, have you boy?" he asked sarcastically. "We only need a paper a week to cover all the news in this town."

"So she's...dead."

I think I saw a some compassion light up his dark glare directed at me. "I'm sorry, but yes. She was buried yesterday. She's in Westfield. You should recognize it at once. It suits Bella perfectly." He shook his head, and with one last look at me, and left the counter to disappear into his office.

I slowly made my way back to the car, and I drove to the cemetery even slower. When I got out of the car, the first thing I noticed were the dozens of flowers crowded around stones set in different places in the yard. I scanned each stone until I came to the one I knew was hers without a doubt. A small girl sat on the stone with her ankles crossed, looking down at a wildflower she held in her hand. It was so Bella. I slowly made my way toward the statue.

I stood in front of her grave, on the dirt that held her body. Flowers bloomed all around, proving to me once and for all that this was a cruel world. How could the flowers grow when she couldn't? How could the trees still be full of life when she never would be again? How could life go on at all?

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**Wow! Long chappie for me. Over 2000 thousand words not counting the authors note...**

**Review please! Help me come up with a better name for this story!!**


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